the end of 2015

I must admit I have fallen a little out of love with my blogging.  I know it will be a great tool for my posterity but with so  many demands in my life I have found that I just don't want to do one more thing.  However my new years resolution is to keep my blog updated.  I am going to try the old "fake it till you make it" motto and try to get back into this journaling.  Scott has tried to help motivate me, even going as far as add the pictures which can take a huge amount of time. He is also reminding me to add to it but now it just feel like nagging.  So I am trying to get my life back on track and who knows maybe it will be theraputic for me. We have had  a lot happening in our lives and I know I need to write it down or we will never learn from it.  I am going to start with the bad because it just needs to be documented.
Scott has been having a difficult time at work with the owner of his office Canyon River Dental.  We have had to continually fight for our paycheck week after week.  Sometimes its not even available to us and other times he puts in a direct deposit but there aren't enough funds in his account so it gets reversed causing our finances to be shakey at best.  We have tried to work with him but things are not going well.  He has recently bought 2 new practices and is trying to force Scott to work those but Scott doesn't want to.  He chose this office and built up these  patients.  It became too much so he decided to look for new work.  We thought we were a shoe in for this office that seemed really great.  They told us that they wanted Scott but the did have 1 more interview already scheduled so they had to do it but they were pretty confidant in Scott as their new Dentist.  With that info Scott quit his Canyon River job.  We were thankful to be removed from that toxic work environment but were a little hesitant.  It turns out that the new office decided to go with the other doctor.  So here we were without a job.
We discussed getting a small loan to hold us over until we nailed down a new office.  That is when our 2nd strike hit us.  We filed the loan papers with a company we had used before only to find out that we couldn't get the loan becuase we had already exceeded the maximum amount a person can be alotted.  We were confused, we had used them before but that loan has been paid off how could we have even come close to the maximum amount?  It turns out the owner of Canyon River Dental used Scott's name to take a $50,000 loan out for the offices.  Talk about a punch to the gut.  We had once talked about cosigning a loan for the office with stipulations that we would get a bonus amount for cosigning and if it wasn't paid off in the time frame he would sign the practice over to us free and clear.  This was just a discussion and we asked that he have a contract written up and we would like our lawyers to look it over before we signed it.
Patrick the owner ignored our requests and took the money out fraudulently. We contatcted the loan company and they said legally we are responsible for the loan.  So now we are talking to our lawyer to see what we can do.  In the meantime we are praying that he doesn't destroy our credit.  So here we are with no job and a huge loan.  What else could go wrong do you say?  insert CANCER
My baby sister was just diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins b-cell Lymphoma.  Also my other sister that had had thyroid cancer the year before had gotten her routine scans back and they weren't very happy with the blood work.  So she was dealing with "has my cancer comeback?"  My poor mother was struggling as well.  She had already lost someone she loves to cancer so she is afraid.  My sister Amy with the Thyroid cancer was hurt that mom didn't check in to see how her most recent scans went, and now here is another child of hers hit with cancer.  It was hard to help them all find peace.  After an intense discussion people felt better but I can see my poor sweet mother having a hard time with all of this. Its hard to see those you love in pain. 
Mind you this all is happening around Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I am not gonna lie we were struggling.  We had just paid off all our consumer debt and now we must enter that world of bondage once again.  We told our children to be prepared for modest times.  At first we didn't say anything because kids shouldn't have to worry about things like that but they catch on.  They would ask to do something and we would have to turn them down and then they would remember why.  It was a little hard to see.
Just before all this went down I had put up a paper on the fridge for my kids to write ideas for Christmas.  They were eager with out being greedy.  But as the days went on and I saw the list I noticed little by little they were crossing things off their list.  Our microwave had gone out and William crossed off all his ideas and wrote microwave.  I told him not to worry about that. We rent and this was something I was going to have the Landlords handle.  They all went back and forth writting that one thing they wanted and then crossing it off the next day. 
In a time of turmoil and uncertainty I decided to focus on our blessings.  I was grateful I had a little job.  Even though it doesn't pay much it was enough for groceries.  I even got a $100 Christmas bonus which we used for groceries.  I was thankful for children who decided to not ask for anything for Christmas.  I was grateful that I planned ahead and had purchased gifts before this all went down so I would have something for my kids.  I was grateful that I listened to the prophets counsel to have food storage so we only needed to buy the staples.  I was grateful for a good friend who took it upon her self to get my kids their stocking stuffers and talk to the bishop about our family.  I am thankful for a bishop who took us aside to see what we needed.  I am grateful that my other sister had the forethought to have her Christmas stuff all handled early so she could be with our baby sister and help her deal with this diagnosis.  There are so many things I was so grateful for at this time but mostly I am grateful for the GIFT OF THE HOLY GHOST, who blessed me with peace and understanding.  When my sister got her diagnosis of Cancer I went straight to the Lord and was blessed with the understanding that all would be okay in the end.  That yes she would have to go through a lot of crap but she would come out on top.  I was blessed with peace in knowing that Scott would find a good job and that this would most likely be a blessing in disguise, and I was blessed with the peace and knowledge that our Heavenly Father knows each one of us personally and understands our pain and wants us to be happy even through the bad times.