balancing the Universe

 I am always wary when I have a feeling of life is good . Don't get me wrong I am grateful for these precious times, but I have been around long enough to know that when I recognize these times something around the corner will come up so I don't get too comfortable.
Yesterday is a good example of that.  I was having a good day thinking how happy I was with all my relationships.  I was getting into routines and staying on top of all things that needed to get done.  I was just all around feeling good about how things were going. I even stated that in my prayers that I was happy and grateful for how things were developing. Then Brennen chose the dark side.  We had a terrible horrible no good very bad day.  I was tempted to stick him in a box and ship him to Australia.  He started by "forgetting" to use the toilet, more than once.  Then he was just down right nasty to his little brother constantly fighting, hurting, and fighting with everyone including me.  He was defiant and showed no remorse when he was doing something I did NOT approve of.  Peter noticing my frustration turned on the charm trying to balance out the universe by constantly giving me loves and saying the sweetest "I love you mommy's" (I swear its the only thing that saved me that day)  The last straw was while I was grocery shopping Brennen terrorized his brother while simultaneously dismantling the store.  I started checking out while the boys played with the redbox machine right next to the register I was at.  As I was unloading my cart the two of them disappeared.  They were no where to be found. (guess who was the instigator.)  I searched the front of the store, paused my search to pay the cashier then ran around the store with my full cart calling their names.  I finally found them OUTSIDE in the middle of the parking lot throwing rocks at cars!! It took everything in me not to spank his butt black and blue. I was shaking with frustration.  Thank goodness daddy was home by the time I got home.  I really needed someone to take over.
On the flip side, today as I was outside doing the lawn I marveled at my barefooted Huck fin boys running amuck in the orchard and climbing trees, and feeding apples to the horses.  Just playing wonderfully in the great outdoors.  Shouts of joy and sounds of laughter echoing throughout the backyard.  I couldn't help but think how great it is that they can just play like kids should be able to play.  With plenty of space to play and run wild.  Not a care in the world. And that I could witness it like a bee on a flower.
 Maybe its just me that one day I am ready to give up and the next I am hungry for more. Or maybe its just the universe trying to balance itself out. Thankgoodness for tomorrows.

Great Day

The other day the little boys and I went to the legacy center to run around the track.  This is my way of trying to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.  We both get exercise only Brennen thinks I am just playing tag.  First I am it then he is it, then we do some animal laps.  Walk like a dinosaur, or hop like a kangaroo, or Brennen's favorite the monkey walk.  Basically we do the grapevine very quickly.  We have so much fun just laughing and chasing each other.  i hardly realize I'm exercising myself. Peter usually stays in the stroller giggling at us both.  Sometimes he gets out to run with us but his little legs just can't keep up.  On Wednesday after we ran we went swimming.  Just the 3 of us.  Its nice because there is only about 6 other people in the pool so I could focus totally on them.  Teaching them to swim and just plain enjoying time with them.  What a great day.  I want to remember it for always.
I am torn because I love seeing all my children grow and accomplish new things but then I think they are growing up. How I am going to miss the days when they were little and fit right in my arms when we watch TV or they give me unembarrassed kisses and sweetly say I love you mommy.
 Hopefully I can  pull out these memories when they are teenagers and driving me crazy

food for thought

The other day I ran into my mom at the grocery store and I couldn't help but think isn't that amazing that I live close enough to family that I would run into them at the grocery store.  Its just one of those things that takes me by surprise and I am happy for it. 

I also notice that I still get excited when I see someone with a BYU shirt, or a CTR ring and I whisper quietly "Oh look. . they must be LDS."  When in reality probably most people here have a BYU shirt or CTR ring in their possession.  When you are not the majority you take notice of such things and get excited because you have something to connect you with another person.  Here its the norm.

The other day I was driving and could see 3 temples all at once.  Isn't that amazing 3 temples so close together you can see them while standing in one place, I am just at awe with what that means for us.

So many things I see, hear, or smell bring me back to good memories and I can't help but think, my children will be able to experience those same things, and have some of those same happy memories.

Its not that I didn't love living in California because I did!  and its not that I couldn't thrive there. . .  Its just nice that I have this happy feeling like I'm Home.  Its almost like I have been on a mission and now I have come home. (although the other day I called a pine tree a palm tree.  I guess I do miss Cali a little, especially the beach.) Regardless I hope I never take this feeling for granted.

Good bye house

Good bye house.  We have had some great times in you.  Lots of fun parties, and then good naps afterwards. Such a great yard to spend the day in playing kickball and teaching my children how to share  and play catch.  It was really fun to paint you with colors and pictures that made my children happy.  You were a wonderful place to call home, where children learned the value of work, the enjoyment of cooking and the safety of HOME.  We will miss you house. May your new family enjoy you as we did.

rainy day

Well the rain was falling and I had kids home all day to entertain. What to do what to do. insert idea bulb here

I decided to make swiss bread from scratch. I thought I made bread all the time, but according to Scott I make rolls all the time which is totally different. The little ones loved the idea. The big ones could have cared less. It did turn out pretty if I may say so.

Because it only lasted 1 and 1/2 days I'm pretty sure it tasted as good as it looked.

I realized I like making bread. I like making things from scratch, turning nothing into something beautiful. Especially baking. It soothes me, makes me feel like I can do something great. It is just bread but its something I created, and I can talk and teach my children as I do it. It takes me back to what it would be like in the old days.

Now I probably wont be making bread everyday but I might just make it a little more often.

learning to ride a bike

I realize this happened over a year ago but I must post it for memory sake. Seeing as how I am loosing mine, I decided I should have a record of stories like this.
William really wanted a build-a-bear. In our house we get a build-a-bear for 3 reasons. 1, you buy it yourself. 2, you learn how to ride a bike. 3, you get baptized. I reminded William of these conditions. Afterward he promptly announce "well lets go to the park and teach me how to ride a bike." That simple huh? We had nothing important to do that day so I said. "Why not. Everyone get ready we are going to the park." Once we got their it was just a matter of business according to William. Ellie was very excited and supportive because she had just learned the year before and knew what an accomplishment this was.

After a few words of advice we got started. It only took him 3 tries and he had it. On his 3rd try I let go and watched my baby grow up before my eyes. But the best part was, as he was pedaling down the track, Ellie was running right along side him shouting at the top of her lungs. Yay William! Your doing it! THAT'S MY LITTLE BROTHER!!!! Whohoo. THAT'S MY LITTLE BROTHER!! all the way around the track.

I have never been more proud or had more joy in my posterity than I did at that moment. To this day I still get emotional when I think of that afternoon. This is what motherhood is all about. At moments like this, nothing else matters. It is pure joy!

On a side note after 10 more minutes of bike riding. William pulled up to me and asked "Now can we go get my bear?" To which I replied "Sure buddy lets go get your bear."

Friends

I love when I catch my children playing nicely together. I looked outside and the little boys were playing transformers together. It was so cute. I tried to be as quiet as possible so I could capture this sweet moment.
I could have watched them for hours just playing nicely talking in their cute little voices.
Its times like this that I think I might be doing something right.
Its times like this I know why I became a mother.
Its times like this I m glad I could capture the moment to remember it forever.
I love my kids and I love being a Mom.