updating

People keep asking me what the trick it to keep my blog updated.  Like anything else it just has to be something that clicks with you.  This is something I really enjoy.  I tell my husband, blogging does the same thing for me that video games or watching TV do for him.  Its like a release for me.  But for those of you that are struggling here are a few tips.
1.   Try to set aside some time each day or week. When you are sitting watching your spouses fav TV show that's not that great, set your laptop on your lap and type a few things.  This is a 2 for 1 my hubby feels loved that I sit with him and I get stuff done. This is a great Sunday activity for me, also I take my camera everywhere I go.  I just keep it in my purse, sometimes I remember to take it out sometimes not.   Most of us have phones with cameras so use them,  if you think "that is a funny/cute/memorable picture"  take one.
2. The other thing I think gets us all behind is trying to play catch up.  If we neglect some thing and try to catch up we are never going to catch up (unless you are very determined.  But how many of us are really that determined)  Forget about past activities just start with what you did today THEN if you have time LATER add a post or two about the things you did awhile ago.
My grandmother kept a journal.  I HATE!!! to write in a journal  but  I loved reading hers.  It helped me understand why my Dad does certain things and it helped me get to know her.  She died when I was 2 so I have no memory of her.  It has also helped me as a parent.  She had 15 kids,  (no multiple births), but her writings helped me learn from her experiences.
This blog is something I did mostly for my personal records so when I become old and senile I will know what my life was like.  Sometimes I think I will be not so old and senile.  Anyway it has turned out to be one of my kids favorite pastimes, so for now I try to keep it updated.

chivalry

Chivalry is not dead.  Today I went grocery shopping with my little guys.  They behaved pretty well, it might have been the ice cream I bought them or I just caught them on a good day.  We went to check out when Brennen offered to help put the groceries on the counter for me.  Once the cart was unloaded I went for my purse when Brennen gently pushed me a side and said "Don't worry mom, I got this."  He reached into his pocket and pulled out his dollar he so courageously earned 2 days before.

So Cute!!!

I took a mental snap shot of this sweet moment then had to explain that his dollar was not going to be enough for all these groceries but thanks anyway.  The cashier (a man in his twenties)  was awed at the whole scene.  He said "Wow such a gentleman!"  maybe I'm doing something right.  I play that scene over and over again in my head and can't help but think how cute he was with his kind serious manner. . . .Don't worry mom, I got this.

parenting

As a parent there are lots of things we worry about.  Are my children growing strong in their testimonies, am I doing the right thing, am I exposing them to enough culture, am I spending enough fun time with them, are they growing emotionally spiritually physically, are they healthy are they happy the list is endless.  When we lived in Cali I would sometimes drive by my  kids school during recess, not purposley I just happen to drive by, and I would see my oldest walking around the playground aimlessly by herself.  At one of these times I stopped and watched, she never really interacted with her classmates she just looked lost? sad? lonely?  As I watched her face it broke my heart.  She is supposed to be running around smiling, laughing, chasing kids kicking balls, jumping rope.  I thought maybe I just caught her on a bad day, so a few days later I drove by again only to find her clinging and chatting to the only adult on the playground, when that yard duty had to leave there she was again with no giggling girls whispering secrets to her or dragging her off to the next thing.  I learned that she had very few friends. and was closer to the teachers than her school mates.
With the move here I was hoping it would be a fresh start for her.  I prayed daily for guidance of where we should live so that my children would be able to have friends and be themselves, a place that my little grownup could see the importance of being a kid.  I stressed, I fasted, and I prayed.
As I drive by their school now during the recess hour I look for my kids from afar, trying to get a glimpse of what their life on the playground is like.  My prayers have been answered, I see my children laughing, running, and chasing friends.  Friends plural!  Today I stopped my car just to watch as my little grownup was acting like a kid with a huge smile on her face as she played with all her girlfriends on the field.  It was just a happy moment.  My children are happy.  They are thriving and I am so grateful Heavenly Father saw to it that this prayer of mine could be answered.

The Board

One of the things that my parents did a really good job on was teaching us kids how to work.  We are a working family and I will always be grateful for that skill they taught us.  So in trying to follow their footsteps in that parenting aspect I introduce you to The Board.  I don't know when or how it started, I think like everything it came from necessity.  With eight kids running in and out of the house and before cell phones, we needed one message board to manage the house.  Nothing grandiose just a large white marker board that was put up right next to the door that everyone traveled in and out of.  Everyday we came home from school we had a job on The Board.  It was an unwritten rule that as soon as we got home we were allowed a snack then onto our chores, even before homework.  We were not allowed to tamper with The Board, and I'm not sure why but we were not allowed to erase our job until it was complete.  I'm not sure if that was ever explained to us that way or it was just unanimously understood.
Now I have tried different versions of The Board before.  When my children were really young I laminated pictures of jobs and put them next to the kids names in the "to do" column, in which they could move over to the "done" column once completed however if I found their work unsatisfactory I reserved the right to move the picture back over to the "to do" column.  This board actually worked quite well, the only problem was a child playing with and loosing the pictures or not having a laminated picture of a new job I wanted them to do.

Now that my kids are bigger and can read I went out and bought our new Board.  As I hung it up for FHE I explained the purpose and rules of The Board. My oldest asked, "Do we get allowances for these chores, everyone in my class gets an allowance but me?"  my answer, "Absolutely NOT.  You do the chores because you live here, have clean clothes on your back a warm place to sleep at night and food in your tummy."  I am a firm believer in doing things because its the right thing to do not because you get rewarded. Too many kids nowadays expect something.  I am trying to get rid of the every kid gets a trophy epidemic.  What ever happened to the satisfaction of doing a good job., and pulling your own weight.
There is no reward system to get them started just a no nonsense just do it attitude.
William sensing an opportunity to schmooze me over asked, "can we add chores to our own list?"  (such a kiss up)  I replied in the affirmative as long as the ones I wrote were completed first.  So here goes the experiment, actually no its not an experiment its a new lifestyle for the Stringham family another generation of workers.

Liar

I recently read an article about a mom who said that when she became a parent she became the biggest liar she ever met, and I have to say I concur.  I have no problem telling my children that a certain toy or electronic is out of batteries and we have no replacements. That the place they want to go to is closed for the day even though its prime hours, that we are all out of cookies so they wont spoil their dinner, or that the tooth fairy didn't come either because their room wasn't clean or they went to bed too late.  (actually that one might be true) My personal favorite is that if they play that game too long the screen is going to burn up so they need to shut it off and let it cool down.
I find myself telling lots of little white lies to get through the days without a meltdown from one child or another, and while a small portion of me is concerned about all this dishonesty its only a small part  and my sanity thanks me.  Now don't get me wrong I do not spend my days lying to my children.  I usually try to explain things honestly and logically wiht only one or two lies to avoid meltdown mode.  So in the spirit of dishonesty I have to go clean that bathroom and when I say clean the bathroom I really mean read my book.

imagination

I love the wonder of imagination.  How it can turn every ordinary into an amazing adventure.  Since we have had such a wonderful non-winter Winter my kids have been spending a lot of time outdoors playing like real kids.  (I always say play like a real kid, meaning like when I was little and played games outside, play like the time before electronics started to take over.)  In doing so their imaginations have come alive and I love it.  However I guess I forgot how real a child's imagination can be, for instance.  William, Brennen, and the neighbor boys were riding their wheels on the driveway.  They started playing a variation of demolition derby when William told Brennen he didn't have enough  "money" to buy rocket boosters for his scooter.  Brennen was devastated,  he came crying to me and I told him to just tell William he had enough "money"  Apparently that didn't go well.  He came back crying again.  After three times of Brennen coming to me crying and the frustration growing I reached into my "wallet"  and handed him enough "money" to buy the rocket boosters.  He held out his hand and gladly accepted the "money" so William could not refute him.
Just yesterday ALL the boys were playing on the trampoline in a robot wrestling match. (They were the robots) They said there was a ring of fire around the trampoline.  This time it was Peter that came crying to me, he couldn't get on the tramp because of the "fire".  He was terrified.  I got everyones attention and told them to turn off the fire so Peter could get on.  Which they did until the next match, then here came Peter again afraid of the "fire"  We walked hand in hand over to the tramp when he pulled me back because the "fire" was hot and he didn't want me to get burned.
Now, that Peter has his rocket boosters he "flies" all around the house and yard.  The look on his face shows me how real it all is to him.
I find myself marveling about the wonderful world of a child's imagination.  I worry that the more electronics they are exposed to, the more they will loose that gift of imagination.  I realize now it is my job to help nurture that gift and provide opportunities for them to use it.

Bucket list

I just finished reading about this girl who had a sort of bucket list.  It got me to thinking that I haven't updated my personal bucket list in a long time.  I had written one when I was in high school and as I pulled it out I noticed I have crossed off many things on it.  The good thing about a bucket list is that you can add and cross off anytime you want.  So as of today here is my updated bucket list.  The more I think about it the more things I will probably add.  If any of you can help me cross off any items on my list I would be extremely grateful.  These can be crossed of in any order
1. Drive through a closed gate with a car (just like in the movies.  this has been on my bucket list for as long as I can remember.)
2. learn a new instrument
3. try surfing
4. learn a new language
5. take a great family photo
6. travel to Europe and or Greece
7. travel to Fuji
8.  Go on a service mission or humanitarian project.
9. go parasailing
10. learn to sail
11. Go on a no kids vacation
12.  see some of the 7 wonders of the world.
13 fly in a small aircraft like a Helicopter or biplane
14. see the Northern Lights
15. Take a small engine repair class
16. fly paper lanterns like in the movie Tangled.
17. learn how to airbrush