worry

Sorry about that last post. Sometimes it feels better to get things off your chest. The jury is still out on whether or not it helped me. I bought myself some flowers to bring a little sunshine in my house. Aren't they pretty and happy? To explain my behavior we have been totally stressed with making all our puzzle pieces fit. We had a feeling that now is the time to move back to Utah. We feel really good about moving. However I know a family that felt really good about an employment change and they have been super struggling for the past few years with no up side. There is so much stress involved in moving to another state. It is so much different moving a whole family than when it was just me and Scott. When we first discussed it the kids freaked out. We thought they would be totally on board because they miss their cousins so much. We thought wrong. Now I get hate stares and snide comments every time I come into a room. After lots of explaining we finally have Ellie on board but William is still digging in his heals. On top of that we have this house we are in now that could turn out to be a big problem, we are working on it but there is only so much we can do on our side. Many more things are out of our hands. Next item of worry is employment for Scott. After much fasting, prayer, research and deliberation he decided the best route would be to buy a practice outright. That is a lot to bite off. So now we have to deal with 100 % financing for a dental practice. Not to mention finding the right dental practice. Add housing for us in Utah to that. We would prefer to buy a house. Not just any house, a house we would live in for 5-10years. We have found a few that would work the only IF is the banks and financing for it. After moving expenses we would only have enough for a small down payment. Now we could rent for a while to save up more of a down payment but if our current house goes south that would mark up our credit and make our chances of a house slim. I know I have control issues but there are just so many variables that are out of our hands. It seems that everyone else is so busy with their own lives, they don't have time for anything or anyone else. I'm not blaming them I'm just. . . .

frustrated .